Jordan Hamel is falling in and out of love with his own mediocrity. Caught between the instinct to build a franchise of rock hard abs, and succumb to death among the kitchen appliances of Briscoes, Jordan is the star of his own demise. He’s on the brink of becoming the world’s worst life coach, or the plot twist to a bygone reality show.
Poetry is the infinity pool of vanity and baby I have brought my wetsuit But absurd delusions of grandeur reveal a more unsettling feeling—the pointlessness of being alive. In the face of existential dread, what is the purpose of a life if not for entertainment value? Everyone is Everyone Except You begins as a eulogy but opens out to a profound acceptance for the less-than-glamorous things that populate a life: failed relationships and confused intimacy; bad advice and poor preparation for manhood. Along the way, unexpected joys emerge, like eloping to Carterton in a Corolla, or getting it on to the memory of the All Blacks. Everyone is Everyone Except You is the honest and hilarious debut from one of Aotearoa’s most charismatic poets. Alternately comical and insightful, Jordan Hamel reinvents the time-honoured portrait-of-the-artist for a millennial sensibility. order here through Dead Bird Books |
Nice things people have said about the book
Jordan Hamel's 'Everyone is Everyone Except You,' has all the propulsive, malevolent comedy of Mel Gibson screaming Paradise Lost on a segway, being chased by a flock of enraged geese. It's high romanticism with a Monster Energy aftertaste. It's so overloaded with cultural baggage it shouldn't be able to get off the ground, until the relentless momentum of the meter propels it inevitably upwards, like an Airbus A380, the cargo-hold writhing with rare and picturesque snakes. Richard Siken with a flesh-light, Briscoes lady, Dragon-Ball Z chic. Both emotionally-wrong footed and diabolically sincere, a brilliant & compulsive read.
- Hera Lindsay Bird
It’s giving very much undiagnosed adhd and my last two remaining brain cells from an over exposure to AO television at a premature age. It’s giving very much beef fed dad bodyodyody, but introspective, and sensitive, and *tucks hair behind his ears* not like other girls… Everyone is Everyone Except You, the debut collection by Jordan Hamel, is completely batshit, whip smart and spit-out-your-Tui or VB crack up….. but mostly it’s full of heart and all the trouble the heart demands.
- Tayi Tibble
Jams the machinery of algorithmic life, makes toxic masculinity its sextoy and scripture its Netflix re-runs. Hamel is the captain of a new breed with deadly mouths, slick-as-hell footwork and heavyweight hearts. Jesus doesn't love him but l but I do.
- Tracey Slaughter
- Hera Lindsay Bird
It’s giving very much undiagnosed adhd and my last two remaining brain cells from an over exposure to AO television at a premature age. It’s giving very much beef fed dad bodyodyody, but introspective, and sensitive, and *tucks hair behind his ears* not like other girls… Everyone is Everyone Except You, the debut collection by Jordan Hamel, is completely batshit, whip smart and spit-out-your-Tui or VB crack up….. but mostly it’s full of heart and all the trouble the heart demands.
- Tayi Tibble
Jams the machinery of algorithmic life, makes toxic masculinity its sextoy and scripture its Netflix re-runs. Hamel is the captain of a new breed with deadly mouths, slick-as-hell footwork and heavyweight hearts. Jesus doesn't love him but l but I do.
- Tracey Slaughter